Boston - I Failed, but I Succeeded

What I posted the day before Boston:
“Whom does the grail serve.”
I will not be questing after a finisher medal tomorrow, not that I ever do, but point being I have no intention of finishing. I feel the Fisher King will be found around mile 10-13 and I will leave the grail there, perhaps to be passed on to someone who may need it on Newton Hills, perhaps to overcome heartbreak, or better yet take it into Boston and leave it on Boylston.

Two months after my heart procedure, and fifteen days of running is not the time to run a Marathon; but that does not meet I can’t toe the line and let the race serve a purpose that will hopefully point me once again to a full 42.195 at a pace I can be proud of.

To sum up: how many miles do we think I can hold 7:00 minute pace for? 6? 7.5? Maybe 10 if I back off and accept a little over 7?

And After Boston:

My own personal Boston within a Boston that never actually got to Boston. Through 10k at 7:01 ish pace then held on till 9 miles at 7:06 ish before ending my race. Then objective number two was simply make it to Half Marathon (and Wellesley) by any means necessary. Very happy I did just to see this White Rabbit sign. I’m guessing that wasn’t bought at the store and it just seems so cool that woman decided to make a sign that awesome just for the race. Mission accomplished; back to the drawing board!

So I "failed" to finish Boston but made it 9 miles in the low 7s (goal one) and made it to Wellesley on my jog down (goal two).

I have always passed this philosophy along to the athletes I coach. When we do a workout or race, our goal is not simply to finish a distance. it is to finish a distance in a specific time. So if we want 20x400 in 68, and the runner starts hitting 72s, the workout is over. No shame; it happens. But we are not finishing with 72 then 75s. The second 70+ and we have already DNFd the workout that was assigned. Similarly, if the goal in a race is to score points after a 10k track race the night before, when the points are out of reach, the race is over. No use hurting ourselves.

I think about this in terms of Galen Rupp dropping out of Boston in 2018 on a miserable day, then turning around and winning Prague in a HUGE personal best very shortly after. He would not have been able to do that if bravado had forced him to limp a cold and rainy final eight miles at Boston. (yes, if Galen Rupp can DNF Boston, so can I.) Meanwhile we compare this to Abby D'Agostino who fell and really should have had someone to get her off the track so she didn't end her career (for all intents and purposes) by limping to a time she could have run in a moderate workout had she been healthy. No criticism on Abby at all, just an insanely archaic and self destructive mindset handed down to us like asbestos scrolls in houses from the mid 20th century.

Going back to the quote that kicked this all off: "Whom does the Grail serve?"
The grail being the race and it serves us, not some ethereal idea of heroism. We don't have to die, literally or figuratively, for the sake of the grail. If we walk away, we indeed live to run another day, and will indeed quickly rebound to claim the chalice when we are having a better day simply because we will be healthy enough, mentally and physically, to do so.